paradox

views gone by!

2007-01-01T15:15:00.000-05:00

it's the new year and i also switched to new blogger (non-beta version)... YAY!

last night, i wanted to get drunk so much so that i wouldn't feel the moment the year turns... but my friends kept discouraging and teasing me, and kinda managed to keep the table of booze bottles away from me!! :(... sneaky devils! ;)

it's ok... i just feel ashamed of another year coming when i feel i should have made at least a couple of major progresses in my life by now! i was quite aware of not running myself into troubles of having a hang-over the next day, though!

instead, i woke up quite sober and smiling today... and started working on some java little projects for fun, although i had to walk a long distance in freezing rain that was pouring relentlessly like hell and finally made me get a cab(and the cabby kept whining all the way that the terrible weather ruined their business!) and got home round 3:00 AM soaking wet with a sinus headache!... it's ok... c'est la vie!

since i'm obsessed with any windows in all buildings, and particularly with all the windows of my rooms/apartments i have had so far, you can find the views of four different months/weathers all shot in 2006 from the window of my current tiny apt. alright, i will try to remind myself of thinking and planning for future more than thinking about the past... i feel my instinct needs to grow, but i shouldn't let it grow out of all restrictions that are constricting me like a constrictor, yet it can't be taken for granted.

i guess i need to have a new flickr account, if it's possible, or...!?, because yesterday after posting some recent shots, i exceeded the number of free uploads...
i'll figure a way, hopefully.

oh, yesterday morning i went out for a short walk in a park nearby, and this little chubby squirrel was biting a piece of cracker, and didn't pay attention to anything else! so cute :)

off and on!

2006-12-25T10:02:00.000-05:00

i was on the bus the other day standing in the aisle and noticed this written on the back of a seat:
"don't be afraid of death,
but rather the life unlived."
there was this guy sitting there with a friend as well, he also noticed this little qoute of i-don't -know-who and showed it to the woman; she, who wasn't a native English speaker, wrote it down on a little scrap paper.

as this "...life unlived!" was kinda echoing into my ears with my own voice, i was thinking... which part of my life have i unlived? and which part and when did i really live? i ended up feeling that i have taken it off and on! how do i feel about this now? don't know...!

then i thought: well, do I really know what it means? have we really thought how much a simple thing can get different interpretations by different people and can mean differently to any individual?
i was also thinking how these diverse takes can lead to anomalies and clashes! not to mention that the same diversity in understanding and interpretation, regardless of all its reasons and origins, can potentially lead to many different ideas, theroies, creativities, and even become the emergence of ideologies and the source of inventions!!!

aaahh, we are complex creatures... so much so that we can't figure it out ourselves!
----------
21st of Dec. was the winter solstice ... i wanted to post something here, but didn't feel like it... (sorry i'm not a dedicated blogger; just off and on, can't be better!)

anyhow, as of 22nd of Dec. the position of the earth with respect to the sun will change and the days start to get longer and longer.
it was a very important eve in the ancient era in Iran and perhaps in other old civilizations.
they celebrated it as the "Eve of the Sun" or the "Festive of the Sun" in Iran. they kinda believed that sun is born/reborn at this time. that's why it was called "Yalda Eve", Yalda is a Persian word with Arabic roots, which means "birth/rebirth". the Iranian calendar at the time had 7 months only, and the 22nd of Dec. was the first day of the year.
it is also said that later they celebrated it for 40 days, since they believed on the 40th day the sun would shine better and brightier, and the dark days of the winter are gone...

some other historians believe that since Christians didn't know the exact birthday of the Jesus, they took this great eve as the time Jesus was born, and celebrated it as such.
years passed, "Yalda Eve" still remained as an important day in Iran, but the Iranian calendar got 5 more months added to it gradually. and interestingly enough, they now believed that on the 40th day after 22 of Dec. a savior will be reborn to bring peace and justice into earth. seems they got this back from the christians then!

many years passed until the Iranians changed the new year's eve to 21st of March, although the Yalda Eve is still celebrated as the longest evening/night of the year!

HAPPY YALDA/ THE EVE OF THE SUN TO EVERYONE!

omni-unison*

2006-12-07T18:14:00.000-05:00

call it the "whole-ness", call it whatever...
if you use the energy excessively, make sure, somewhere in the world, the winter will turn to hell, and the spring will finish before it just starts.
if you follow, spread, or even shrug shoulders for materialism, consumerism and rampant capitalism, make sure there are numerous huge factrories running 24/7 all around the world that spit their waste materials/chemicals/poisons out into the rivers, seas, oceans, air...

if you start a war just in order to keep your multi-million $ business of weapons production running, you will get kicked by the same guns... in a way or another.

call it "karma" , call it "the energy that circulates in the world"... call it whatever.
if you do a bad deed, its aftermath wil be back to you, sooner or later.
nothing there is to get away with.
we are all one.
call it "the truth", call it "God", call it whatever...

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction – Newton’s Third Law of Motion
but we fail to notice.

we are the succession of the previous generations, and the next generations will base their world on our trails, ...
the human history started at a point, we weren't invloved in its emergence (weren't we really!?), and will end at a point, but aren't we strongly involved in the ending process?!

it's how to end it that counts!

*: omni-unison is just a coinage!
--------------------------------
i'm supposed to be reading now for the final exam ... but ...well, i'm done with my project and i made its last phase the way i wanted to, after 3-4 days of nonstop hard work! i'm giving myself a bit of break now :)

and BTW, my confessions are continuing.

the mirror

2006-12-02T02:35:00.000-05:00

just woke up
from a long dream;
how late!

too late.

----
i do appreciate it if you read these confessions and leave your comments or personal experiences.
thanks

BTW, just saw Babel a few days ago, i liked it. a nice well-structured movie that depicts life events, poverty, ignorance, destiny, life-styles, narrow-mindedness, undeniable human needs and above all despair so well, as well as all these common feelings, emotions, problems, selfishnesses, cruelties,... that we all share regardless of our race, religion, sex, color, language,... but we still fail to notice.
and Babel, what a meaningful title !

abyss

2006-11-27T22:18:00.000-05:00

a glass of cold water
will wash down the rage,
this heat.
it's raining here now.

have the rain drops washed away
the roads to be taken?

nothing is clear, except imaginations
and loose assumptions.
and isn't everything based on them!?

i saw myself flying,
but downward.
and the wake-up moment never struck!

yet they keep murmuring:
"ignorance is bliss!"

out of fog...

2006-11-24T00:23:00.000-05:00

the last drops of my patience are evaporating.
and i don't think anything will be left after!

you might take it as a metaphore... but i have never felt this way in my entire life.
-------
right when you are full of hatred and run out of patience
there is this shallow woman
this woman of "manipulative logic" and very little emotion
who comes to you to ask you for help and favor... boldly, cheekily!
and then she wins the competetion, with your very help.
she calls you immediately and leaves a loud message with her dumb happy voice bragging:
"i got it!"

what a wonderful world!
who to blame?
-------
After-thought:
i am thinking of stripping ... throwing out all my thoughts and things that bother me...
even including personal stuff...
needs a humongous gut, i know!
i have created a blog for now...
what do you guys think?
how much are you ready to strip while commenting?

I'm Bleeding Me ...

2006-11-18T01:35:00.000-05:00

i'm digging my way
...to something better...
metallica, "bleeding me", album "load".

i'm being told the naked truth
that i neglected for years
...
who do i blame?
i'm so clueless.
though, of no use any more...
not any more.

he never knew she also said the same things to me;
but it was his words that pierced into my soul,
the core of my entire being!

there are things you'd like to tell them openly
but you find it out of place.
there are always things i'd like to scream about here
but i can't;
not even here!

where then?

this lump is growing
like cancer!
--------
i know i sound very down... but i need to be me... at least here.
i can't throw out weird questions or raise discussions like before...
not as long as this damn-ness sticks to my sticky stuffy life!
i'm sorry! that's why i don't write much! i'd rather listen... although i cannot turn the clock back.

unconsciously aware of...

2006-11-05T15:07:00.000-05:00

a diet without caffeine is like life without music.
i have quit coffee since 27-28 days ago... but sometimes i feel my nostrils are desparately deprived of a mesmerizing, enchanting and soothing fregrance... poor me! :(
that part of memory rsponisble for smells might need a surgery now... because i am fighting hard to resist the urge provoked by this memory association... damn it!
i want coffeeeeee!!
----------
if you have Quicktime plugin installed in your computer, it's worth listening to Ani Difranco's interniew with the "Progressive Radio" here.
she not only talks of her latest album, but about Feminism, politics and being pregnant as well.
... i gotta add that she is one of my favorite singer/songwriters... and she is an awsome gutarist (folk).
----------
i finally posted some of shots i took from this fall on my flickr... why don't i wanna talk of my trip to iran? and post any photos?... well, don't know... there are several reasons that i'm unconsciously aware of deep inside... (wwooh!) but ...never mind!
maybe later, or simply nev...!

i wish i knew

2006-11-01T18:39:00.000-05:00

sadness is sticky,
like a swamp;
the more you try to get out,
the deeper you get in.

i don't see any reason for being born to a sad person...
but all i see are sad lonely people.
or have i truned blind to happy ones?

they all have enough,
but they are sad.
they are healthy,
but they are sad.
they even bear one or two kids,
but they are sad.

it never ends...
they are lucky though
that at least an abstract feeling, hope,
still knocks on their door
from time to time.
................
this is not a poem or anything,... just came out like this.
i will post some shots of this fall that i took 3 weeks ago or so on flickr...
i don't know if i wanna post any photos of my trip to iran yet!!?
arrggghhh, how unmotivated i have become recently!! damn this life.

... takes off

2006-09-20T21:50:00.000-04:00

back, but with a delay...
my stay in iran took long ... and i learned how much i have changed,
how the family love has stayed the same,
how people down there look at life,
and many more ...

i kinda feel so jaded and unmotivated now that i can't take any comment column; sorry!
plus, i can't go into details as to how i found the people and how they found me !!
or even how speechless you get when you see all your innermost feelings and passions in the eyes and smiles of a 10-11-year-old girl who just happens to be your niece,
or in the thoughtful silence of a very young film-maker/screen-writer who just happens to be your nephew.

but you will leave everything behind
and
build hope!
then the plane takes off.

deep-running water

2006-06-12T02:46:00.000-04:00

well, i still can't believe i'm going back home!... home?!... well... um... let's just not talk about this now!! the worst part will be wearing a headscarf, and a long tunic or something similar over pants, esp. in hot summer of tehran!
as for robbery, ... i'll be careful, thanks for the advice. i heard internet is still in 56k-speed; most of us are so much depended on internet for our daily life here... going back to human-to-human interactions can be interesting, and perhaps frustrating to some extent!

this insomnia is back to me again tonight... aarrghh... ! so i'd better blog...
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
looking at a tiny drop of water as if it's an ocean is wrong, it can't even be as big as an ocean for minuscule plankton, neither technically nor psychologically!
but its burden can break your back if you are already over-loaded.
but when do we know when we get near the overloading point!?
we usually don't!
alas!

the life of each of us is just one drop of an ocean as big as the entire cosmos; yet there is an ocean in each of us.
some dive deep into it...to its dark, amazing spots.
some others, though, happy as larks, float on the surface and expose their body to the sunshine while whistling and humming a happy tune outloud!... totally defeaning!
what a wonderful world!

closer...in teeny square divisions

2006-06-09T23:24:00.000-04:00

closer...in teeny square divisions,
originally uploaded by never happens.

an entirety, when observed closely enough, is not but a collection of thousands or even millions of teeny minuscule squares/mosaic pieces...
they all get together, sitting in their right position, reflecting the right color, hue and tone, expressing a message, in order to build up an image, a landscape, an entirety...

what are the very little components of our life? of our being?
are they all in the rigth place? are they all reflecting what they are supposed and made to?
what will happen if one little piece is out of its place?! or turns pale/dim or...?
what if more pieces get messed up?
how much are we aware of what we are made of/made up for?
-------------
finally i decided to go back to iran for a visit for almost 2 months or so... how different will i find the people and everything down there ?!
well, we'll see!
i won't be able to update here regularly as usual though... but i hope i can take good photos and post them on flickr later.
bon voyage to me ^.^

proliferation towards countless-ness-aemania

2006-06-02T16:49:00.000-04:00

i'm pretty sure you know but maybe you haven't noticed that:
all of us, speaking any language, use only a finite number of sounds but can potentially make infinite number of words.
now, we have a limited number of words and just a bunch of syntactic rules, right? we can make endless forms of sentences. yes endless!
the most interesting phenomenon is:
when kids learn their mother tongue, they actively and creatively constrcut structures they have never heard!
don't forget they are potentially able to make endless forms! plus, they never get a formal (academic-style) instrcution on grammar rules...
how does this happen?
this is the question; and finding its answer has been, for years and years, a good reason and attempt for theories of language acquisition to emerge!

you can find thousands of links to key points i mentioned above in internet, they're just a click away (i'm talking the langauge of marketers now :D)
these two are good and less techinal for novices, though: this and this.

however, my point is, which is actually a question for me:
how the concept of endless or infinite can work hand in hand with finite or limited?!
i remember when studying math, there was this concept of infinity that was beyond my head! and funny part was that my friend who had a good background in math and was helping me out kept telling me:
in infinity we have values as well. like some infinite vaues can be less or more infinite than another!!!

ok, these are theoretical approaches to math, but how is our brain structured in such a way that not only can comprehend but create an endless number of stuff out of a limited number of components?!
i'm pretty sure you can understand that it's not the matter of a simple combination or permutation of those components. it's the matter of endless-ness: endless composites or chunks of data from a finite number of constituents.

now take this:
there are also endless perspectives to any aspect of life; how many of them have we seen? and/or have we lived?
how many more can we think of or create?
how broad can we make the way we look at things?
and how can we do it?
i just know one thing: "questioning and not accepting anything as is".
i'd like to find more ways though... endless?!
----
excuse my coinage for countless-ness-aemania ^.^

want a drag of 0 and 1 ?

2006-05-26T18:31:00.000-04:00

over the phone, a couple of weeks ago (when i sounded more optimistic than now) , my friend said that a group of dolphins name each other and call each other by those names, i suddenly said: wow! interesting!... but i wonder what combination of sequence of sounds and/or frequency/pitch/loudness they use to make different names...
then i dunno why i said:
let's imagine there is a planet with humans pretty much like us but they talk with 0's and 1's instead of the way we talk.
let's say they only have two sounds: 0 and 1.
then, how many different combinations can they make?
well, depends what the length of sequence of 1's and 0's are!
but then, how many different languages can emerge?
and how complicated can the sentence structures get?
and how stupid those sequences would sound excluding the intonation and/or stress/ tone!?

given the fact that anything in the realm of science is theoretically possible provided it follows the math/physics laws, would you like to be one of those humans?!
would their life also be made of sticky circles and full of unfair moments?!
-------------------------
good news:
May 31st is finally round the corner and...?!
smoking ban law getting enforced in Quebec restaurants, cafes, bars, bistros, clubs, ...

and i hope my neighbors know that the law also includes the residential building public areas; and the corridors and the lobby are the very public areas for god's sake, but when they keep smoking inside their teeny apt.s their freaking 2nd-hand smoke leaks out to the corridors and eventually into next-door apt.s !!

anyhow, if you are in Quebec, you can help enforce the law like this.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
i just remembered this:
round Valentine's day, out with friends at 3brassseurs which was packed with people and stuffed with 2nd-hand cigarette and cigar smoke, i saw this young couple with a very cute kid of only 5-6 months old or even less sitting with friends.
alright, they don't care if they inhale some smoke, but how can they think they can decide FOR the poor little kid? it's not their property... honestly it was only an infant, and if it wasn't because of my friends, i would have snapped at them like no-one else ever! :-\

tune me in ...

2006-05-19T17:32:00.000-04:00

no rhythm, no tune, no melody can make me dance and sing
except the one(s) i have made
out of a rather long-term thinking and observing !
---------------
i have a theory: everything rotates round something, or at least round itself;
and this makes life possible,
and makes the earth stay in its position,
and causes the galaxies to stay where they are or move the way they do!

think about it and simply narrow it down to human life, and see how many circulations and rotations you make per day and you have made in your life...
think if it's possible to find the straight, right way, without turning all the way round back to where you started!?
well, i say it's actually impractical!?
the circles might get very big or extremely humongous... but they are still circles, and not a straight line, otherwise you will fall off/be thrown out of the entire universe, the whole body of being!
well, not practical, but just maybe possible in theory?!
---------------
paradox (not me!) has had a few posts (1, 2, 3, 4) about the theory of Jesus' existence (inexistence?!) which are interesting to read and think of the possibility of any religious ideologies get shaped in the first place .
(NO INTENTION TO OFFEND CHRISTIANS!)

this and georgewesley's 2nd comment for my previous post are somehow related as to how divinity and the supernatural power (intermingled with any faith and ideology) can impact millions and millions of people with time...

well, not to mention how they can potentially and ineveitably change/twist/distort... avec le temp (... sorry i like "avec le temp" better than its english equivalent: with time :D)
---------------
montreal seems to have not but an almost whole-month of rain and chilly, gusty weather this may... i want summer and sunshine! :-\

just like that...

2006-05-14T11:38:00.000-04:00

maybe the hardest, the most painful, the most energy-consuming, hope-dashing and frustrating job is looking for a job.
i'm not thick-skinned and confident enough ...
disappointingly enough, networking and connection are the key points or solutions in this matter... and i feel i'm so dangled, so stranded... :(
---------------------
back to our discussion:
there is no doubt that human being is curious about many things, and a thinker...
we have formed many idealogies, philosophical theories, and faiths, etc since the time we got civilized.
i personalyy believe that some of our philosophical idealogies and philosophizings basically boil down to a set of principles. then i dunno how they get related to holiness and sacred-ness and divinity...

apart from that, then the result whatsoever will poke its nose into all aspects of people's lives. well, it's usually a power-seeker, a person (a man, since we live in a man-dominating era now) who tries to attract a group of fans first. then with their helps and supports, he tries to set more and more principles and adds a lot of "do's and dont's" with time...
and finally he becomes a moral/spiritual leader, a prophet, an imam, a saint, a magus, a rabbi, a ... !

but what is a religion? (back to the very first question)
if it's a set of principles one believes in, why does it need a power, a spiritual power, a political support and/or power ?

(on the flipside though, when people get together becuz of any reason, they feel stronger and more confident...
those who make communities and gatherings of this and that religion or denominations, and/or attend these gatherings and community activities, feel less lonely, and more at peace gradually!
plus, this would be potentially an opportunity for them to find new friends, to get jobs, to meet their soulmates(!?) , ...)

this complicated creature has many demands (some weird and complex) and sometimes creates some problems out of things that are potentially for solving problems or easing the painful moments of living ... !

(this post didn't end up the way i wanted; i guess because i am so tired or in a depressed mood these days!)

live it as is...

2006-05-07T19:09:00.000-04:00

i won't share it
with you
because i'm selfish!
they're my moments, my life, my pain...!
---------------------
when painting the walls white
wear white from head to toe.
(i'm living in the middle of a mess these days, i'm painting my apt. while listening to music! :D)
---------------------

about a month ago i was talking to this Vietnamese classmate of mine, a very quiet and nice girl... about here and there. she suddenly took a book of sort of prayers or poems (of Buddha) out of her schoolbag, and said she has started going to temple since she has come here...
getting more curious about her faith, i asked her to explain more... she said things that left both of us almost surprised!
i never knew many of my beliefs about life, human and world, my believing-in-no-religion, my nonreligious life are so close to Buddhism!!? (although Buddhism is said to be more like a philosphy than a religion, eh?! but does it make any difference if it's like a real religion or a philosphy?! BTW, what is a real religion?!)

apart from those details of what Buddhists believe in, and how close i found them to what i personally believe, i'm wondering how faiths get shaped in the first place... and how they get spread, and find so many followers with time...!
not that i don't know how sometimes the power and political influences and motivations have helped a religion or a denomination get spread out and even change in some aspects of their ideologies, and even how some "prophets" have made wars and conquered lands to force people to convert into the conqueror's religion..., my question is deepr than that:
what makes human feel the need for faith in the first place?
you might say: well, human needs spirituality and connection to supernatural powers to feel relaxed and relieved...
but what is the reason behind so many changes into it, and why making it a social and collective ritual/gathering/idealogy (some so strange!!) rather than an individual one without inventing rituals ...?
why the emergence of so many denominations?
above all, howcome most of people on earth stay in surface about the religious beliefs and faiths... why don't they ask "why" and "why this religion", "why this way"... ?!
if all faiths are almost the same down in their roots, why so many wars over their surfaces?!
why is there always a fear that a religion or a denomination loses its followers, because of any reason?
why (for many of the religions and faiths) is it usually forbidden to convert into another religion?!
why most of religions (especially old ones) should be passed onto next generations just like genes and genomes that are received with birth from parents?!!
why making such a simple "need" so complicated and a source of wars and clashes?!
i personally feel that most of those "prophets" sought power behind inviting poeple to the religion they were "represent"ing or to "the spirituality and/or the right path and salvation"... who can believe that spirituality requires blood-shedding, massacre, wars, hatred, detention, and...?!
why does a religion need such a power at all ?!!?
(this post is already too long!!! i am pro short posts... becuz it gets boring... this discussion will continue... with more details probably!)

1,2,3

2006-05-05T01:17:00.000-04:00

1.
sometimes there are some people around you that make you feel sick. you don't know how it all started... but now, what you want is just to be rid of them.

aaarrrgghhh; i'm so mad and feel disgusted. how can a woman in her 30's be so shallow, so stupid, so wacky, so sassy, so tacky?! ewww!

nothing but the same old ugly story: use others like the means for achieving your goals... no matter what! manipulate and use people like your stepping stones. (don't forget, you have a couple goals, and you want them so bad!) behave like a real bi**h if this is a short-cut to your end goal,...and be proud of your "achievements", but talk like how much you try to hold on to your "dignity" and "pride" !!!!

how can i just be as rude as her and let her know how disgusting she sounds and looks to me?!
any idea, please?
----------------------
2.
i have never read anything written by Ramin Jahanbegloo; and actually i don't know him. but it's damn ridiculous and unacceptable to have him now arrested and detained in a prison in Tehran.
but why wasn't he more cautious?
was this his first visit to Iran after this new prez (Ahmadi-nejad) took over the office?
was he frequently visiting Iran in the past year or already living there?!!
...!!?
his works
the latest update
----------------------
3.
i will write on faith, ideaology, religion, racism, ... my own observations and takes on these issues next time! :-\

first, secondly, ...

2006-05-02T11:26:00.000-04:00

first: i did my very last exam last night (i graduated, YAY!). i was so stressed that after exam i just wanted to cry all my tears out and just puke; i couldn't sleep at night after the test.

secondly: check out this
see what you can do for the day of World Press Freedom (may 3rd).

thirdly : and if you like, go here, click on video on top menu, then you can listen to (and watch) two versions (radio edit, and unplugged) of a song.
familiar? so, you are not young!!! :D

fourthly: ...
i will write more... later!
... now i need some days for myself; for my heart; for my life; for me; stress-free :)

unexpected ...

2006-04-14T12:21:00.000-04:00

my moments have become full of bad news or dizziness,
and i'm filled with madness;
and hope is fading or running away from me?!

damn it!

nothing is worse than living in despair.
wish i could smash things, or cry out my anger louder than them...

"hang in there, hang in there!", i keep telling me.
either stop contracting for ever or do it right. you hear me?!
----------------------
relevant or not, through paradox, i went to this page. it's interesting that Baha'i has 7 m but Zoroasterianism has 2.6 m believers (both religions emerged in iran, although Zoroasterianism is way more ancient). actually a few months ago, i heard from a friend that her co-worker, being Quebecois, is converting to Baha'i as his wife (a Quebecoise) was believing in it since i-dunno-when. and they were planning on going on a sort of religious mission to Bosnia in summer. i was like: !!!???
then this made me read more on it in internet... seems the Bahai's are actively spreading their belief round the globe !
although its founder used to be a muslem, i still doubt Baha'i has really emerged from islam!!??
any thought?
PS: you can read about it in wiki.

back...

2006-04-09T12:51:00.000-04:00

some can break your heart;
some doc.s, though, can burn it,
but with your consent.
.....
i feel ok now... but i was so used to hearing the load and high beat rates
that now i feel something is missing in my life :D
.....
i'm ready to hug it back and hold it to my bosom,
but i need it to be really back.
i still have weird feelings round my chest, though!

will i come to...?

2006-04-03T23:51:00.000-04:00

will i?
----
i have the most hectic days of my life plus a lot of stress...
but they will all pass... like all good things that come and last short.
short?!
i hope so.
short or long, it will feel like ages when it's not pleasant.
.......
and today, some strange people said and did some strange things to me at wrong times!
what's wrong with them?
why to me?!

BTW, i'm in my new apt now. strangely enough, though, i feel so in place and at home, feels like i have lived here for years before!!

why...?

2006-03-26T18:45:00.000-05:00

i can't, and don't know why i don't want to, do the same thing again... but the traces left brought tears into my eyes, of those days when i was learning from all those people sitting round, listening to and looking at me!

packing and moving are like digging into past and remembering things you have left behind!

i will throw most of them away this time! it's time to clean myself off the past!
memory faculty is still working fine... , alzheimer hasn't struck me yet, and no grand-child is going to be there to enjoy the stories, checking out the traces!

maybe i should have left them in my room miles and miles away among all the rest that are getting covered with dust ...
<><><><>
wish there was some real forces out there to mesmerize me!

dog

2006-03-24T11:51:00.000-05:00

i'm not expected to stereotypically say "Happy NY" to iranians i know or talk of it here at this time (iranian new year) and ...
but almost all my non-iranian friends and even class-mates know that iranians have a different time for celebrating new year, because i tell them and expect them to say "HNY" to me!! :D
plus, i do care for and respect the story behind the nowruz rather than just simply following its rituals.
what else did you exepect from a paradox!?

... and
now i'm in the middle of moving and all its hassle...
not to mention i've had assignments and projects and labs due since yesterday till next 2-3 weeks... + final exams!!
on top of all these, i am going under a sort of... (it's secret :D) next week and the one after..., i've been waiting for almost 9 months or so!
just keep your fingres crossed for me... altho i'm not religious and you might not be christian!
i'm not scared or what, but it's got the potential of being damn risky!
BTW, what year is it? dog!?
................
check out norouz in wiki

2006-03-19T14:50:00.000-05:00

saint patrick + grocery
i had to do grocery today, and the supermarket is right on St. Catherine in the heart of downtown.
the parade was ending, but the crazy crowd were still screaming and hailing; there was this group of teenagers and young adults walking with all features of St. Patrick from NDG + CDN and among all flags of different nationalities supporting and celebrating it, there was this I.R.I falg flying !!!
with that stupid logo of Allah in the middle...
come on!!!
what is the relation b/w the history behind the parade and the pride that the Irish feel and I.R.I flag?! knock it off!

Ganji

2006-03-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

for iranians, these days around the turn of the new year , no news could be better than this
we all wish him the best.

perspective

2006-03-17T00:31:00.000-05:00

metaphorical
it's so precious to be able to see the skyline,
though i'm not made, and don't want to travel beyond.

....................................................

harshly realistic
it's just enough to be able to access the border line,
though i'm not made, and don't want to cross it.

2006-03-12T16:57:00.000-05:00

she is in love,
he either hasn't been born yet
or has died many years back though.
she is still waiting!
...

Saturday morning... life... guitar

2006-03-11T12:26:00.000-05:00

you want me to cut off whining,
when will you stop bragging then?

you want him to learn how to socialize
but he knows how to keep lying like hell;

and this hairless monster
dares to go on blind dates!

would life taste bland otherwise?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
zillions(!) of ways out there to cry out my presence,
why on earth did i pick this one?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
simply 4 years ago, today ... !!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this great guitarist with his nice voice revived good old days in memory... i luuvved his dad's music!
and this is so similar to the background theme of one of his dad's songs (don't remember the song tho :( ... and his voice has traces of his dad's, wow!)
go go Kaveh... keep up the good job !

threatening distraction

2006-03-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

they voted for sending our "already bad-reputed" file to The UN Security Council... !
what a shame... !

the news here says: [...]The meeting ended late Wednesday, formally opening the path to Security Council action that could range from a mild statement urging compliance to sanctions or even military measures. The meeting also set the stage for a potential struggle between Washington, which seeks harsh measures against Tehran, and Moscow, which advocates a softer line. [...]

in French they call it "Saisiner", which is used for legal trials/courts!! what consequences it might have?!? i dunno!!

apart from all the near-future potential problems, how many years will we have to work to amend this ugly image that is cooked up by Iranian "very thoughtful" top politicians and decision makers?!

i was reading the news about nuclear programs and all the controversies around it a couple days ago, and read this by don't-remember-who : letting Iran get away with it is like asking a woman to become just a little pregnant!

i liked it :)
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
i should feel happy today, because of good news and events for me since a couple days to date, especially that they are like a precious relief after this damn food-poisoning that knocked me down last weekend, but .... !!?
anyhow... i gotta be back down to my own busy busy schedule and hectic days! upcoming soon is the end of semester: a lot of deadlines and due dates and finals... add them all up to the hassle of moving!! arrgghhh
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
these dried fruits and nuts that have recently arrived, smell iran so bad; they even taste iran :) dunno why i both love and hate this feeling?!

how things are...

2006-03-03T19:54:00.000-05:00

i could also have a kid;
he could have grown up to be like that "mentally disorderd" guy sitting at metro station
with a big empty JavaU coffee cup and a bunch of rants written on a cardboard
asking for some change.
he could have been wearing those big strange glasses
and talking to his cell phone and jotting down some names and numbers
while holding his empty cup up begging from passers-by!!

i could also have a kid;
she could be born handicapped
and cast her profound gaze at me for hours and hours
and leave me unable to understand what she thinks of!!
--------
damn you "getting-emotional-ness",... leave me alone... for this weekend at least... i need to be concentrated.
--------
*nothing is as cute as the ugliest boxes ever in the post office with the printed labels of I.R.I. Post among firm, white and nice boxes from other countries!
how beautifully he describes it when he says you gotta be back see how unbelievably things have changed whereas many things are still the same way, unorganized and with the lowest security factors involved!
BTW, who knows the english equivalent for "raziyane" ?

just a bit of memory factory...

2006-03-03T02:16:00.000-05:00

hectic days and a huge pile of school work...
plus shouldering a bigger burden than your imagination...!

how can a job be assigned to 6 people, but 2 of them do 95% of it and the rest only 5%?
this is what i was invloved in the last 2 weeks! pheww!!!

and who can imagine we still have cold cold weather ranging from -29 ... to -20 here while only 3 weeks are left before stepping into spring?!

aaahhh gold fish! and seed growing...
the fragrance of new grass and pollens... (just good for those who don't suffer from allergies, though :D)
the rush and hustle of all those crazy days right before long new year holiday.

i miss them?!
yeah, sometimes... i'm actually forgetting them.
a friend reminded me of it today!! shame on me, eh?!

gush, how much is this life trying to prove its "excitement" and "unrepetitiveness" by pressuring you and bearing its heavy weight on you?!
all i know is it just never ends...

**i'm damn busy already, but i gotta find a new apt soon and move out. aarrrgghhh.
..............
Bush in Afghanistan ?!
and india?!
o-oh
but i try to keep calm by listening to these awsome works (sometimes french is more tranquilizing!)

2006-02-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

to write or not to...!
i'm lazy? or just don't feel like it? or both?!
neither!... ?

a couple of days ago i was mistaken as an art student!!
i said: "wish i were one!"

news from and about iran are all adding up to this down-ness, who can believe it?!

when i heard he is looking for a straight line in his life, and she is sick of going round and round;
i thought:"yeah, it's true. we won't get away with it. the entire earth can't. it goes round itself, and rotates round the sun and the whole solar system turns round some other celestial bodies or space objects... and who knows maybe the entire cosmos is turning round itself and round some other stuff... all are to keep balance ... we, they will fall oherwise. but it's damn crazy, no, it's sick!"

i'm sick of it all, too.
-------------
but don't miss this.

nostalgia

2006-02-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

it's been longer than everyone's expectation and even longer than that of my own...
i miss it, that's true; but i'm still reluctant!
more than before, way more than when i was still back home, i'm suspended between two different worlds...
which i belong?
probably none!
and that is scary.
home is where you feel comfortable, yet alieneted from many features?!
what a damn paradox!

what a day...!!!

2006-02-07T15:58:00.000-05:00

i left home half asleep for the dentist office round 10:00 ;
but... some steps away i found out i left my keys inside the apt.!!
but i was almost late for my appointment, so i just rushed down there.
after 2-3 hours came back with my right cheek numb and a hurting tooth...
hehehe... i'm dramatically, but literally, locked out!!
and the janitor isn't in, either!! wooppss!
i was damn hungry, had to take my antibiotics and painkillers,
had to go to school later to do two of my assignments... and everything except my bank cards and bus pass was inside the apt.
i was completely clueless of how i can get in...
so after tramping for a li'l while round and eating in a vietnamese tiny restaurant,
and going to school lab and running into absolutely NO friend at all...
i came back home to try my chance...YAY! the janitor was back...
pppheww... now i am back inside my precious warm apt.
------------------------
these cartoons, which i'm pretty sure you have seen on the web for several times,
were good excuses (or a made-up story ?!) at the right time to bring up fiery and thoughtless reactions on the side of muslems against ...who? jews?!
what a crazy world?!... using religious extreme idealogies to make war!!!
stupid everything!

blingbling

2006-01-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

now we have to get our ears attuned to a lot of "Steven Harper"s ... and also get used to hearing a whole lot of stammering, stuttering remarks....
good start Steve!!!
--------------------
blasphemous q.s cont'd:
i have always had problem understanding what being "ever-purified" (massoum) means since my childhood; i can't get the concept yet... but let's say it exits the way they try to explain it, then why should we look up to imams and isalmic saints for this quality if they are simply born as "super humans" ?!
if they weren't struggling with their "self" not to do anything "wrong" and not to commit any "sin", what the heck respecting them?!
plus, Mohamad claimed he is the las prophet, did he also say that no other "ever-purified" person will ever be born, either?!
plus plus(!), did he believe that only his family members and sons and cousin and grandsons and great grandsons and great great great grandsons (count up to 14 people please!) are born "ever-purified", and no other prophet before him had such a great family?!!
he was the smartest of all "prophets" on earth, honestly!

another Q: have we ever had a woman prophet?!
--------------------
BTW, i'm just wondering why now, after centuries, it's suddenly hight time to worship this second God?!

drill noise...and blasphemy :D

2006-01-20T15:56:00.000-05:00

not that i am still down with flu and can't post something up here .
i got better, finally.
but i am knee-deep in school stuff and some other things, one of which is not but challenging myslef and proving myself that i can and should... (cross your fingers for me, but i'm not christian:D), and...horrible appointments with the dentist and the drill noise...ewww ...ouch !~#%*#@
these denti$t$ are damn brutal and fu**ing blatantly greedy!
$hould have $tudied denti$try, eh?!
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
a blasphemous question (practical shiites & sunnis beware!):
what if Jesus'd had the chance to live longer and had claimed he'd been told by God that HE is THE last prophet on earth?!
what would Mohamad do then?!
another one: why religion and religious orientation should be accompanied by prophet-hood?! why does it need a person to "claim" he is divinely inspired and knows the future and everything?!
everything!!???wow!
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
my questions will continue; don't come back here for some time if you feel you get offended by them! :D:D
i'm serious!

chocolate bar

2006-01-15T20:28:00.000-05:00

i'm down with this damn flu... aaarrgghhh
and a pile of things to read laying on the tables!!
and programs to work on...
damn you school and flu virus, over-heated metro stations, freezing cold weather,..., chocolate bar and sore throat!
what a mess!

big truth coming out of tiny mouth

2006-01-10T22:56:00.000-05:00

she is 10 and lives in Tehran.

i: so, do you still want to be a teacher?
she: no, i dunno... i gotta think about it... i need to see what will happen later, to examine the situation and see how respected women are going to be in this society...
i : !!!!! but, aren't women respected enough now?
she: no! they're not! as far as i know, they are not; the situation is very bad in society for women and for many other things as well...
i: !!!!! but you always used to say you wished to be a teacher when you ...
she: yeah, but i was ignorant; i didnt know much!
i: !!!!!!
..............
the kids are so ahead, but the image of the society looks so behind!!!
what an irony!
and still the leader, clerics, prez, ... insist on image-ruining acts, rancid stupid thoughts , and damn retro ideas !!

back in the 18th century

2006-01-10T15:43:00.000-05:00

casanova is funny, but a bit vulgar.
anyhow, the way italy(venice) is depicted in the film at the time remineded me of iran:
the way women are treated (looked down on!)
abuse of power by the church
the terrible result of mixing up religion with civil laws
the corrupted system
...
altogether, i laughed a lot... but also thought how ridiculous it is that after more than 2 centruies, with the advent of technology and science... some nations are to be left in retro world of superstitions and narrow-mindedness, still !
... still?!

don't look down on me

2006-01-07T15:13:00.000-05:00

don't look down on me,
originally uploaded by never happens.

i beg you... don't think i'm stupid,
i respect you and your beauty, your generosity,...
but sometimes...
i just lose my damn mind
and destroy everything
and then left in shit ... crying and helpless... when it's just too late!*
>>>
i'm sorry that in iran many sites including flickr is blocked... it's f**ng incomprehenisble when you find goddamn rulers who just assume they can think in place of 70 million other people; what the hell do they think?!
---------------------
* i'm just addressing the nature, here. i felt i should explain it clearly, why?! dunno!
BTW, i just heard something from my friend in iran, but couldn't believe it, anyway, check out this, you will figure out what i heard!

more...

2006-01-05T22:42:00.001-05:00

,
originally uploaded by Scott-5x5.

paradoxes seem simple and understandable (at least to us, humans), like this amazing photo by 5x5...
but, they're deeper and more confusing than what they look, eh?!

BTW, what is this?!

just a bit of confusion...

2006-01-05T20:38:00.000-05:00

"this sentence is a lie."

you agree?!
doesn't matter...whether or not, it's a paradox.

old, eh?
it's ok, now check out this paradox cartoon ;

but i like the 1st and the 8th of these more (not paradoxes, though).

no!?

2006-01-04T00:45:00.000-05:00

i'm freaking out these days...
why?!
well...
but, i'm not a freak.

2006, already !?

2006-01-01T17:34:00.000-05:00

talking of the rest of my dream on the very first day of 2006?! weird, eh? ... well, yonowat? i don't like talking about it any more... i have these weird, sur-real dreams from time to time... ! who cares...

last night, me and a couple of friends went out for dinner, then we decided to have more fun for the turn of the year, but being students with tight budget, we just ended up sitting on the 2nd fl. of a very simple, not-really-decent, downtown cafe, drinking irish coffee and chatting and soaking in horrible cigarrtte smokes of people around, and also watching the crazy teenagers and young girls and boys in light outfits (suitable for clubs), half drunk on the streets, crawling out of one club or bar into another...
and it was damn bitter cold, round -20 C.
montreal doesn't celebrate it officially, just a lot of party,bar,club-goings are on, that's all! but in toronto, it's more interesting, just check out these (jan., 01, 2006)!

oh, btw, i was in the bathroom right at the time the year turned :D:D:D

a dream come true?! no way!!!

2005-12-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

if i could, i definitley would...i would make sci-fi films and horror movies out of these horrifying nightmares and sur-real dreams i have.

last night, after 3 hours of sleeplessness, i dreamed that i had to die, along with many more (including my sis and bros), but how?!
we all had to make computer programs and run them so that they make us die...
and my younger bro was suffering and not dying, cuz his program wasn't working fine, it had a bug or something...
my program had some problems too, but i didn't want to run it, didn't want to solve it, i was so unhappy...
my older bro came along for help, but i was whining like hell...
i was saying: i'm not ready now, i didn't think of a death like this., no...i never thought i would like to die like this, no, not this way... it's not fair!! not now... plus, this is suffering... i hate it!
i was damn mad!
and guess what happened after that !?

will let you know later...

xmas + newyear crap

2005-12-28T16:02:00.000-05:00

more than a month ago...wow!
mix a bit of laziness + "moodi-ness" + hatred...
that's the reason.
i did one of my exams really bad... :(
then i took back-up from my data for almost 2-3 days!
then i reformatted my pc for 4 times within 2 days!!
then i helped a lazier friend with her paper (ouch!).
i was also sick for a couple days :(
and now... i am lazier than pandas...
bad news is tomorrow i have to see a dentist (a louder ouch!).
^^^^^^^^^^^
that was just a summary of my holiday!!!
i'm having a great time, eh?!
^^^^^^^^^^^
i changed the background to this sort of grayish smoky color...
just for fun, or a li'l while...who cares!

after...

2005-11-26T00:09:00.000-05:00

it’s swaying left and right
like a pendulum

i try to change the rhythm
or stop it

but always fail.

then I call myself
the one who cannot fit in!

as irrelevant as that.
06-nov-05
----------------------
after so many days, i just have this much to say?!...yeah, i was damn busy, and a bit not in the mood.

magic

2005-11-06T16:59:00.000-05:00

the horizontal lines are dividing the fall into rectangular pieces
of colors.
that’s only an observation.

how would i manage to see them monolithically,
putting the pieces ensemble?!

how would i remember them as one?!

i do magic every second…
and magically ignore it
or fail to notice.

once ...

2005-11-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

once more i forgot a dream
that i liked so much
i should have jotted it down
once it woke me up.

:(

life and death

2005-09-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

life and death of trees,
originally uploaded by never happens.

no clear-cut border line!
life lives with death
and death lives with life.

but we humans are ashamed or scared of accepting this very fact!

handshade

2005-08-26T15:55:00.000-04:00

i don't wanna ask for a savior,
i don't intend to look like a frustrated drowning person;
handshade with me
with shadows
and lights
...
let me live my dreams.

hush!

2005-08-17T00:46:00.000-04:00

to my homeland and its brave people:
you are the sweetness of a dream
in the worst nightmare
of
the longest night.

define the dark,
maybe it's too much light
that has dazzled my
eyes.
...
it's the third night now that
i have
deprived myself,
although i lullaby me
for falling into vallies
of sleep.

...

2005-08-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

à Ganji:
moi, je ne panse qu'à toi;
et toi,
tu es comme q'qn qui n'existe que dans les reves.
tu vas sourvivre, je sais...
parceque...
je n'aime pas les cauche-mars.
...............
to me:
forbidden thoughts
where living is not forbidden
is
a big lie to myself.

hiding thoughts
when breathing is forbidden
grows like a tree.

i pity those years
that went by
while building empty hopes.

and now
i've grown out of
having any dreams!

2005-07-07T17:22:00.000-04:00

Lettre aux peuples libres du monde par Ganji
Aujourd'hui, 29 juin 2005, 19e jour de ma grève de la faim. J'ai commencé de cesser de m'alimenter 11 jour au mois de mai. J'ai repris cette grève le 11 juin 2005. Au total, mon poid a chuté de 77 à 58kg en 30 jours, soit 19kg perdus en un mois.

J'ai été placé en isolement dans la section 240 [de la prison d'Evin] et j'ai été l'objet de mesures repressives telles qu'être interdit de communications téléphoniques, d'avoir des visites, de lire le journal ou de pouvoir marcher à l'air libre.

Dans un système autoritaire, le mensonge devient une vertue. Les menteurs disent : nous n'avons aucun prisonnier politique, aucune cellule d'isolement, il n'y a aucune grève de la faim dans les prisons iraniennes, les prisons sont comme des hôtels. Ils résolvent leurs problèmes en changeant les noms. Ils appellent les cellules d'isolement suites et imaginent à tord que le problème est résolu.[...]

Prison signifie privation de liberté. Est-ce qu'il suffit d'appeler une prison un hôtel pour changer ce fait ? [...] Un prisonnier politique est quelqu'un qu'on a emprisonné à cause de ses opinions et pour avoir osé exprimer une opinion contraire à la voix officielle. Toutes les organisations oeuvrant pour les Droits de l'Homme ont confirmé que, ces dernières années, des centaines de dissidents ont été emprisonnés en Iran.

Le procureur de Téhéran [Saeed Mortazavi] déclare un jour que Ganji est envoyé en cellule d'isolement pour sa grève de la faim. Un autre jour, Il dit envoyer Ganji en isolement pour lui donner une leçon et qu'il n'en sortira que lorsqu'il l'aura retenue. Et lors de sa dernière déclaration, il dit « Depuis que Ganji a des problèmes respiratoires, les docteurs ont recommandé qu'il reste dans un environnement calme, loin des perturbations extérieurs. » Les menteurs oublient leurs précédents mensonges, et en créént de nouveaux. Ils ont oublié que le chef du Département de Justice de Téhéran (Alizadeh) déclarait un mois auparavant que Ganji n'était pas malade. Aujourd'hui, ils disent que les docteurs ont diagnostiqué chez lui des problèmes respiratoires (asthme disent-ils). Est-ce que ce sont les docteurs qui ont demandé que Ganji reste en isolement, sans téléphone, sans visite, sans journal, sans air ni soleil ? Ont-il ordonné de lui adjoindre, le 17 juin à 0H20 comme co-détenu un dealer de drogue, condamné à 15 ans de prison, dans le but de l'éliminer ? (Ils ont choisi ce dealer le 16 juinauprès du procureur de Téhéran, et Saeed Mortazavi l'a mis au courant de ce qu'il devrait faire la nuit suivante.La personne qui l'a accommpagné du bureau de Mortazavi à ma cellule à 0H20 a dit au gardien que si çà ne tenait qu'à lui, il aurait retourné le cadavre de Ganji lui-même. Bien sûr je refusai et ne le laissai pas entrer dans ma cellule que j'ai quité immédiatement. J'ai expliqué l'histoire complête de cette nuit dans une lettre séparée). *

Autant dire que si la leçon que je devais apprendre était que je devais dénigrer mes opinions, Ganji ne retiendra jamais sa leçon ; tous mes écrits, spéciallement le 1er et le 2^nd livre du Manifeste Républicain sont le résultat de réflexion et de connaissances. La critique obstinée de mes écrits est le fait d'autres personnes. Faites leur savoir que Ganji ne cessera pas sa grève illimité de la faim à moins d'atteindre son but. Forcer les prisonniers à écrire une lettre de repentance est digne des méthodes d'interrogatoires staliniennes, reprises par les stalinistes iraniens.

Ajourd'hui, mon visage ravagé est le véritable visage de la République Islamique d'Iran. Je suis aujourd'hui le symbole de la justice. La justice qui, si on regarde correctement, met en évidence une augmentation de l'oppression dans les lois de la République Islamique.Mon visage et mon corps meurtris révellent, paradoxallement, la prétendue justice et la répression véritable. Tous ceux qui me voient aujourd'hui me demandent « Etes-vous Akbar Ganji ? Que vous ont-il fait ? ».

[...]

Ils cachent ces meurtrissures au public pour masquer la réalité de la République Islamique. Pourquoi n'autorisent-ils pas les reporters à prendre et publier des photos de moi ?

[...]

Comme je l'ai dit à de nombreuses reprises, si je meurs en prison, c'est sous l'ordre de M Khamenei [le Chef]. Mortazavi a reçu cet ordre par M Hejazi qui lui le recevait directement de M Khamenei. Je me suis opposé à la loi autoritaire et indéfinie de M Khamenei.J'ai dit que [sa] période de pouvoir absolu est en contradiction avec la démocratie. J'ai dit qu'exprimer cette opinion déclencherait une réaction prompte et sévère de la part de M Khamenei. Les fait m'ont donné raison. Il ne tolère aucune critique personnelle. Karroubi, Moeen et Hashemi Rafsanjani ont tous goutté à la « d émocratie religieuse » de M Khamenei durant ces élections. Les perturbations générales et organisées des soldats ont provoqué la colère, même dans l'équipe électorale de Larijani et de Mohsen Rezaei. Un système sultanique est en contradiction avec une démocratie. Dans un tel système les lois du sultan dominent et tout le monde est a son service. Mortazavi a dit à ma femme : « Qu'arrivera-t-il si Ganji meurt ? Des douzaines meurent tous les jours en prison ; Ganji sera seulement l'un d'eux. » Ce sont les mots de M Khamenei qui sortent des lèvres de Mortazavi. Ganji meurt, mais la soif de liberté, de démocratie, de justice politique, d'espoir et de nobles idéaux sont toujours vivants. L'amour de son prochain et le sacrifice personnel pour l'autre seront toujours vivants.

Akbar Ganji Mercredi 29 juin 2005
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* : Le procureur Mortazavi, le 17 juin, essaya d'envoyer un dangereux prisonnier condamné pour trafic de drogue pour des années dans la cellule de Ganji à 0H20, mais Ganji devina que c'était un piège pour le faire assassiner. Il ne laissa pas ce prisonnier rester dans sa cellule, finallement, ils installèrent le trafiquant dans la cellule opposée. Ils laissèrent la porte des 2 cellules ouvetes toute la nuit. Ganji ne pû aller dormir de toute la nuit car il craignait d'être assassiné par cet homme.
Plus tard, Mortazavi déclara que l'homme n'était pas un trafiquant mais était accusé d'avoir d'avoir revendu les sujets des examens universitaires. (cette explanation est modifiee par les traducteurs)

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on peut trouver la version anglaise de cette letter ici .
you can find the english version of this letter here .

prisoners of thought

2005-06-28T19:15:00.000-04:00

following the recent news in iran, i have noticed that the shocking news on the election(!!) of the new president has unfortunately overshadowed some other important issues such as fight for freedom, including freedom of speech, for which tens of poeple are in jail now.
among them, two of them went on a hunger strike a while ago: Zarafshan and Gannji
Zarafshan is reported to be in hospital or to have ended the hunger strike now, but Ganji is still in danger.
the news about them are always capsuled by lies and wrong info.
i'm not a journalist or anything, but wish iranians (journalists, writers, artists, intellectuals, ...) would Do something really practical today, RIGHT NOW !!!!
PS: tryng to look for the latest news about these two in the world media, i got surprised how their coverage has ignored them!!

sixth sense

2005-05-20T19:37:00.000-04:00

you're gonna see me
through
a glass jar!

i will hold it up
for you!
.......................................

long night

2005-04-14T22:37:00.000-04:00

don't
know
how to do it!
i'm not made for it?
or they forgot to teach me!?
but,
i wish i could ignore it
before i die!
..........
where in this dark night
can i
hang
my worn-out
shawl?(nima)
ainp

Fri. 12:52 AM

2005-02-18T00:51:00.000-05:00

when you can't,
i mean you are not able to
,personality-wise,
get help from others;
you'd better help them then!

stupid enough, eh?
that's my life, though:>

8:00 P.M., Sat.

2005-02-12T19:57:00.001-05:00

go beyond where the curb ends!

nothin' really matters but...

2005-02-11T20:43:00.000-05:00

cool, eh?
i mean... this life sucks, but we keep saying: "oh, coool!!! !!!"
what the f...?